Below is a blog entry I wrote 2 weeks ago, but never posted. It’s a collection of disjointed thoughts, but that’s the way it is when you live where you work; everything flows together.
We’ve said this before, but it is hard for both of us to sit down and write when it’s hard to find the words to convey what’s happening here. Sometimes I want to tell everything, but know I can’t give the full picture so instead I give nothing. Or it is too draining to even think about what has happened that day, so instead I stay away from e-mails, the blog and even the world’s finest creation: Facebook (May Mark Zuckerburg be bestowed with endless blessings for the service he has done for mankind.)
How about some high lights of the past…2 months?! Have a full cup of coffee? Good, this is going to be a long one!

Christmas Dinner
First up: Christmas. We were blessed with two of them as Ethiopia uses the Julian rather than the Gregorian calendar and the two do not coincide. (If you’re feeling old, just come to Ethiopia where it is still 2003 to shave some years off.) We first had a unique American Christmas Eve dinner here at the orphanage. Sam’s friend, who is now very much my friend too, Natalie was visiting from Seattle and we made a tremendous occasion of it. We made Kraft Mac and Cheese and Trader Joes packaged Lasagna in the kitchen. Meanwhile the children held their nightly church service in the dining room filling the building with their beautiful voices, clapping and heartfelt worship. We ate our gourmet meal out of plastic containers outside under the stars while the hyenas “whooooooo oooooop”ed across the valley.
January 6th was Ethiopian Christmas Eve. CCC’s director, Henok, honored us by putting on a celebration and inviting all of the ferenjis at the hospital compound down to join us. We had a small ceremony to dedicate our new well (!!!) and a giant feast. They purchased two goats, slaughtered them and served delicious BBQd goat which was followed by a large bonfire and spontaneous singing and dancing. It was a tremendous evening.
We had two births here at the foster home. Fortunately they weren’t human. Both our sheep delivered healthy lambs and we didn’t even know they were pregnant. The best part was when the first was born Dawit in his excitement exclaimed, “The son is born!” When the second was born we were standing outside the sheep shed amazed at the new addition to our family and Micahael stated, “Oh yes, this is very good result!”
We love it when it rains here. Even though it is dry season it has been uncharacteristically rainy at night. The thunder storms are tremendous and the rain gives a vibrant green to the grasses (even though it is not good for the harvest to get wet and is very unfortunate for the farmers). Even the hyenas seem to cackle louder on nights after the rains have come through. Out our balcony we look across to a few small mud/stick huts nestled among banana trees and corn on a hillside. The hillside gives way to a giant valley with large hills/small mountains on the edge. When it is clear you can see little huts and farms all through the valley and old ladies swatting the cattle with a stick to herd them down the paths. There is a tree at the edge of the compound that is typical of African photographs (medium height, twisted skinny trunk and large canopy at the top that spreads with spindly branches and tufts of long, skinny aloe-colored leaves) that we like to climb up in and watch the farmers harvesting, children herd cattle and sun set over the distant hills.
Two of our older children, Michael and Asrat, took the TOEFL exam last week to start the process of getting into university in America. They were very nervous even though they studied VERY hard. Through this we realize even more how important it is that the children learn English, as it is in many ways their ticket to getting better jobs down the road. In our region the children speak their local language, learn Amharic in elementary school, and have all their high school classes in English. Not knowing English can make succeeding in high school and university (both in Ethiopia and outside of Ethiopia) very difficult.
Sam and I are taking Amharic class to enable us to communicate better with society. The people are very responsive and love to hear the ferenji try to pronounce their challenging words. They laugh and laugh but are truly grateful.
I was at a contractors shop the other day reviewing a contract we agreed on for him to build much needed dining room benches and short tables for the little children (THANK YOU Allie and Bob for the donation to do this!) and as I was leaving he offered me a ride to wherever I was going. I hoped on the back of his motorcycle and as we weaved through the donkeys, goats, laborers carting wood and trucks billowing out dark diesel exhaust he waved and greeted most of the men we passed. Just then my phone rang. It was Sam asking about something related to sheep, chickens, a meat grinder, rebar, a great potential nurse we should hire, or some other completely normal topic that would have never crossed my mind 3 months ago. As I hung up the phone I laughed outloud. How bizarre and great. I love it when I realize in the moment how much my normal has changed.
I had a hard time deciding whether or not to include the following story, but decided to post it with a warning. The next paragraph is pretty intense. Working in a developing country is incredibly rewarding but also very draining and heart wrenching at times. A few days ago Sam and I went to the funeral of a 1 month old baby whose 13 year old mother tried to take care of him but couldn’t. By the time she was brought into our sister orphanage that cares for infants, her health was very poor. Stephne took her into her home and held her, sang to her, put her on oxygen and as her situation worsened fed her with an eye dropper all night in the hospital trying to restore her, but was unable to save her. The extreme vocal manner that the 13 year old mother expressed the pain during the baby’s funeral was very difficult to handle. And just as we were leaving the hospital with the casket a woman brought in a 6 day year old little girl she had rescued who was abandoned to be admitted to the orphanage. Through the roller coaster of pain and joy Stephne connects with each child emotionally and is able to fully invest in each one, even as one passes away and another is put in her arms. Pretty amazing.
Dealing with the stresses of death, getting glimpses into some of the hardships our children have dealt with, and having to completely rethink how to achieve even the simple tasks has been a challenging experience. The difficulty isn’t as much in handling the specific situation as it is in not being able to ever get away. Sam and I have discussed how in the States after a hard day in Seattle he would catch a game of basketball at the gym, kayack on the lake or simply veg on the couch with bag of chips and salsa in front of a football game. I lived in So. California for the past 6 years and was always able to simply hop on my bicycle and cruise the strand while the sun set over the Pacific, jump in on a game of beach volleyball or battle the ocean around the cliffs of Palos Verdes on an outrigger canoe (thanks Allyson!). But there aren’t distractions here. The children on the streets don’t go away. While the children here at the orphanage are incredibly blessed, the reality is that they have countless needs that Sam and I simply cannot meet. And internal frustrations can’t be distracted by hanging out with some really fun friends or exercising the emotions out. This really leaves 2 options. First, bottle it up until it comes out in some nasty way or it can’t be dealt with or second, take it to God. Not just pray the “Dear God, I’m having a bad day. Please help me have a good day” prayer, but actually surrender. And listen. And surrender some more. And make apologies for those who have had to deal with me.
It’s odd to be so vulnerable with…the entire world…on a blog, but I feel some odd responsibility to share what God is doing even if it’s hard to share. I was praying one night, incredibly frustrated at everything that wasn’t going right and how difficult it was and how I was feeling all sorts of foreign emotions that I hated and wondering why I was having a hard time with so much, when I was hit with three things. First, I felt God impress on my heart that even if I achieve nothing here, that He is going to use this time to work out some garbage in me. Second, I opened up to Philippians and chapters 2 and 3 hit me like a freight train. WHAT? “Do NOTHING (!!!) out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” This suddenly took on an entire new, awful meaning. This is not easy when trying to implement new standards, manage building projects, and “fix” things. How do you consider other’s ideas better than yours when your purpose is to bring change? Still working through that one. Third, I was reading A.W Tozer’s The Pursuit of God and was hit by a passage in which he discusses how we hold on to our possessions (both physical and non-physical) so tightly because we are afraid of losing them. But because we cannot surrender them they end up controlling us. Its really something that we all know. We talk about those rich people who keep buying nicer homes in Beverley Hills or purchasing more expensive cars and pity that their possessions control them so much. But I’m just the same way, only not with Porsches (a motorcycle or even a donkey to get me around would be a blessing) but rather with my pride, emotional comfort, or having conveniences. In allowing God to rid me of this, Tozer states that “The ancient curse will not go out painlessly; the tough old miser within us will not lie down and die in obedience to our command. He must be torn out of our heart like a plant from the soil: he must be extracted in agony and blood like a tooth from the jaw. He must be expelled from our soul by violence, as Christ expelled the money changes from the temple. And we shall need to steel ourselves against piteous begging, and to recognize it as SPRINGING OUT OF SELF-PITY, ONE OF THE MOST REPRENHISBLE SINS OF THE HUMAN HEART.” Gulp. Not sure if I’m ready for this kind of pain, but here we go…
If you have made it to this sentence, you are a trooper. Thank you for reading, for caring, for praying. We appreciate all your comments and e-mails!
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